Her language makes a subset of her clients - especially men from Silicon Valley - “feel safe,” she said.
(Translation: Go out with a few younger guys, see how you feel, recalibrate.) “Date like a scientist!” she said when a woman asked how young was too young for her to consider someone a viable romantic partner.
Ury’s job: to validate, as much as to volley back what she claims are research-backed strategies for hacking modern romance. “I just want to validate that that’s confusing.” She coiled an enormous scrunchie around her fingers, twisting the fabric into smaller and smaller knots while talking about knees.Ī man wanted to know why the woman he’d just gone out with had turned down a second date, even though she had given him a long hug when they parted and her knees had been pointed at him for much of the date, he said. Ury led a Zoom session for 67 people who had paid nearly $2,000 each for a six-week course, which gave them the chance to ask their most pressing questions about dating. Ury packages her coaching as precise and prestigious, applying the language of Silicon Valley C.E.O.s to a throng of anxious daters.īack at her desk an hour later, Ms. To stand out amid those who love to explain love, Ms. Ury’s credentials, though - a Harvard psychology degree and a book that’s gone into its eighth printing and has been translated into 14 languages.
